i don't like introductions. maybe i'll do that later.... until then....
Today i made a resolution to not criticize people ever. I was reading this book entitled "How to Win Friends and Influence People", i'm actually still in the middle of reading it... anyway, Dale Carnegie (the author) points out how criticizing people will never help anyone ever.
here's why.....
1) People never listen to what you say, because as humans we have very fragile egos and the slightest insult will make us jump in to full defense. (is "full defense" even a saying?)
2) Whenever you insult people it will just cause them to resent you.
There are more reasons, i'm too lazy to list them all, and i don't want this post to be too long..
Apparently, Abraham Lincoln, used to be a very critical person... until one time he wrote a rather vicious letter to someone, who then challenged him to a duel. The duel never took place, but he did learn never to criticize EVER. And, well he was a pretty awesome guy, or at least most people thought so.. *cough* John Wilkes Booth *cough*
Also! the most successful people, are the ones who compliment, not the ones that criticize.
Well, we shall see how long this lasts (not criticizing) (also, the blog), hopefully a lifetime. but, you never know....
Thank you Alex for letting me use your laptop! (also, Alex, let me know what you thought of today's blog)
Excellent! Props on the resolution. Written informally and it's down to earth, which is super appealing. Might I suggest for next time to include the positive aspect of the topic? As in, after writing about why not to criticize, write about what to do instead if you want someone to change what they're doing. Idk how far along you are in the pithy book, but if I remember right Carnegie goes into this shortly after his bit about Lincoln and his never-sent-letter to the general
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. I always enjoy a good * criticism*. Well, I haven't finished the book yet, but.... I can say this... seemingly, the only way to get someone to do anything.. is to make them WANT to do it. But, your question is too much for one post, i might post on it when i have a good, full and well thought out post. Again, thanks for your comment.
ReplyDeleteYou have me in a pickle here - I want to comment on what you wrote, but I'm scared you might accuse me of criticizing.
ReplyDeleteEh, forget it, here I go.
I believe there are 2 sides to every coin... You failed to mention the other side. Constructive criticism. Sometimes in relationships, you need to explain to the other person what you need, and how what they do is not fulfilling that need. Or, if someone is, say, at a debate meet, he's more likely to improve from debate to debate if the judge gives him some genuinely constructive criticism. Obviously, it all needs to be done in a non accusatory way, but that aside, people WILL listen.
Andpoint proven because you just asked me to ... yeah, you guessed it.... "make sure to leave... constructive criticism."
I agree to that, but, I've decided, at least for me now... i just won't criticize. at all.
ReplyDelete